I love it when me and my girlfriends hype each other up, and they did just that when I recently posted this story with my locs down. But beyond cheering each other on, there’s also information sharing within a sisterhood. We tell each other about that discount on those shoes, that new restaurant, that show on Netflix, and even tips and tricks on how to take care of our locs. But if we can do this with our close circle, why don’t we do the same for our customers?
What if I told you that the only thing(s) standing between you and your PR success were 5 common mistakes? When I look back at my journey with PR, it’s a mix of great and not-so-great decisions. But that’s how we learn, right? So, lean in and keep reading to learn about what you should stop doing in order to get the PR success you want.
"Self-promotion is an essential tool for career advancement [and] networking" (The Harvard Gazette).
In other words, visibility begets visibility because people (rightly or wrongly) believe that those who've been featured in/on respected media platforms are more credible; have greater expertise and authority. Here's the catch, though:
Women are less likely to reap these benefits because, according to research, women feel less at ease with promoting themselves than men- which in turn means that they're less likely to do it. What this really translates to is less access to:
PR opportunities
Clients who will trust and want to work with you
Brands and influencers wanting to collaborate with you
Moral of the story?
Growing up in London, I quickly learned that positioning matters. For example, whenever I use the tube, and I’m in an absolute rush (this is most days), I know that the right side of the escalator is for people who are happy to coast and that I should be on the left so that I can get to the trains faster. Knowing and following this unspoken rule helps everyone get to where they need to be easier (and in one piece lol). Similarly, knowing and understanding the full potential of PR can help you get to where you want to be more efficiently. As a result, when PR is done right, it can help you:
One of the proudest moments of my life was buying my first flat just before my 25th birthday. My dad helped me load my stuff into his car and we set off on our hour or so drive from my mother’s house in north London to my new home in the north-west.
“You know, you’ve done well. You did a good course” he began.
I turned to him in shock as he listed off my achievements since graduating as a Speech and Language Therapist- a “good job,” “promotion” and now “[buying] a house”- while some of his friend’s children continued to struggle for various reasons.
Now when I say I was shocked, I mean I was shocked. My dad had been completely against me studying speech and language therapy as, in true Nigerian fashion, he had wanted me to be a doctor.
“Thank you!” I finally mustered.
“Yes,” Dad continued. “All you need now is a car and a husband!”
Once again I turned to him in shock.
“A car and a husband?!” I said laughing. “Could I kill two birds with one stone and marry a guy with a car?!”
But the more I reflected on my dad’s words, the less funny they became. They niggled at me for the rest of the car journey and for days even after that.
I was frustrated because I had literally just achieved this house goal; yet I wasn’t even getting a chance to savour it properly before I was being pushed to achieve something else. I was also frustrated because I could feel myself being pushed towards something that I didn’t see as my next natural step.
Up till then, I had always towed the line that my parents set out for me. Medicine or not, the fact remains that I went to university and graduated. Everything that followed, that my dad had praised me for in the car, was also a part of the masterplan. This was the first time that I felt a deviation between my parent’s wishes and my own. This was the first time that I questioned their expectations of me and simultaneously felt the weight of potentially disappointing them, and robbing them of their dreams.
What made my resistance even more confusing is that I knew that my parents, and those of the same mindset, wanted the best for me. Marriage and motherhood are not bad things in and of themselves. It’s quite natural to want them for your child. Also, from what I was taught and could see from those around me, it was something that I was supposed to want too. Yet, as I’ve already stated, I didn’t.
Looking back, I see that this was a trauma response to seeing most of my female role models sell themselves short or stay in abusive situations due to factors such as tradition, control and low self-worth. Yet rejecting those societal norms helped me to realise that my measure of success is the freedom to live life on my terms.
In interviewing other black women about their measures of success, for my most recent Black Ballad article, it was interesting to see how these themes were echoed many times over. It’s also very interesting that, as I reflect on my journey from that part of my life up till now, I see how important having measures of success is, not just in life, but also for PR.
How many times have you turned down opportunities, including ones you always dreamed of, simply because you thought you weren’t good enough, smart enough, or that there was someone better suited than you? I’ve certainly let my insecurities affect how I’ve showed up or not showed up before, but I’ve come to realise that no one is looking for perfection. People are simply looking for someone with solutions to their problems.
I remind myself of this whenever I have a PR engagement, and I’m tempted to listen to that self-critical voice in my head. I silence all the negative thoughts and think about what the audience needs from me and how best I can help them. By focusing less on my insecurities and more on the fact that I have knowledge that can transform someone’s life, I step away from the unrealistic pressure of being “the very best” and step into my purpose: showing up, serving, and sharing with others.
I shared all this and more on my recent Strength X Glory IG Live with (host) Laureen Alexa. We also talked about how you can step into the confidence needed to share your story by realising that:…
At the beginning of 2022, when Instagram's algorithm changed (yet again) I became so disillusioned with social media that I ended up taking a 9 month hiatus.
I was sick of planning, creating and editing content only to post to crickets aka:
Limited reach
Little to no engagement
stunted growth and so on
Despite the fact that most gurus would have you believe that not engaging in social media marketing is suicide, I continued to get more visible, attract dream clients and get paid through PR.
Ever wondered if you could do the same?
PR has many benefits including:
Positioning you as an expert in your field
Increasing your authority and credibility
Giving you a larger platform to share your influence, thought leadership and message on
Increasing your followers, subscribers and fanbase
Exposing you to your ideal clients- keeping you booked, busy and making bank
Shrinking from media opportunities is not only holding you back from these benefits:
It's stopping you making the amount of money that will allow you to have the kind of lifestyle and freedom that you want.
It's stopping you from living out your purpose and feeling fulfilled in life.
But- more than that- it's robbing the people that you are called to serve of achieving the breakthrough that only you are uniquely designed to give them.
Not sure where to find media opportunities so that you can stop this negative cycle? No problem!
