Last month my dad turned 70
As he dropped me off to the station after his celebration dinner, I asked him 2 questions: "How does it feel to be 70?" and "what advice do you have for younger people?"
Listening to his answers, captured in this video, it was really apparent to me that he was answering this question with his younger self in mind.
This got me thinking about what I would tell my younger self about getting started with PR and I think it would be this:
Last week we talked about the fact that despite what we’re commonly told, simply setting your goals or having a clear vision for what you want for 2024 isn’t enough to keep you on track
Remember that,? If not, will you check that post out here?
Which is why as you set your goals or create that vision board, it's important to consider the why behind every goal
Not sure how?
The 5 WHYS Technique is one of my favourite journaling prompts because it has helped me and my clients stay consistent and accountable with achieving our goals - even when motivation runs a little dry
So, whether you want to start or grow your business, get PR success, or travel the world - the 5 WHYS technique can help you identify the core reason behind your aspirations. What’s great is that it’s super simple. Just grab a pen and notebook and ask yourself why you want to achieve a particular goal. Ask yourself this question 5 times to get to the core why.
Here's an example of how that works in practice...
We’re only 21 days from 2024, and IT’S TIMMMMMMME (in my Mariah Carey voice) to set our goals for the brand-new year.
Reflecting on 2023 and the goals I’d set for myself, I know there’s one thing that kept me going regardless of the challenges life threw at me along the way.
So, if you are currently setting life, business or PR goals, here's the key to helping you to accomplish them:
Whenever you use a sat nav or GPS, not only does it make you input where you want to go (your destination), it makes you state where you are (your location) so that it can direct you properly. My aim, with this post, is to do the same thing for you and your PR journey so that you can move from your current situation to ticking off all the platforms of your dreams in the new year (and beyond)! Doing so requires these 3 steps:
Typically, when would-be clients say that they don’t feel confident seeking PR they mean one of three things (if not all of them):
1. I’m not sure who would want to hear my story
2. I don’t know what stories resonate and therefore what to pitch
3. There are certain levels of PR I haven’t experienced and so don’t feel confident about pursuing
The first two statements are easily rectified through coaching, templates, swipe copy, scripts and a bespoke PR plan, as will be provided at Media Magic (my retreat for business women, experts, coaches and authors who want to uncover a quick and systemised process to pitch the media so that they can get onto more top platforms, be seen as industry experts, and start raking in larger paydays) on July 25th-29th, 2024.
The third statement is more of an inside job because “I can give you the exact steps and strategy, but if your mindset and your psychology are not in it, it’s not going to work” (Holly Haynes).
When it comes to mindset, one of the things that a lack of confidence can cause is anxiety but, as I once heard, “the opposite of anxiety is not calm, it’s trust”. What this all comes down to is this question- although you may not have experienced the levels of PR that you want now, do you trust that once you have been exposed to the tools and strategies that you need to get there, you will implement them?
If the answer is “no,” your lack of confidence will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If the answer is “yes,” though, you can expect outcomes like Margaret, who said:
One of the proudest moments of my life was buying my first flat just before my 25th birthday. My dad helped me load my stuff into his car and we set off on our hour or so drive from my mother’s house in north London to my new home in the north-west.
“You know, you’ve done well. You did a good course” he began.
I turned to him in shock as he listed off my achievements since graduating as a Speech and Language Therapist- a “good job,” “promotion” and now “[buying] a house”- while some of his friend’s children continued to struggle for various reasons.
Now when I say I was shocked, I mean I was shocked. My dad had been completely against me studying speech and language therapy as, in true Nigerian fashion, he had wanted me to be a doctor.
“Thank you!” I finally mustered.
“Yes,” Dad continued. “All you need now is a car and a husband!”
Once again I turned to him in shock.
“A car and a husband?!” I said laughing. “Could I kill two birds with one stone and marry a guy with a car?!”
But the more I reflected on my dad’s words, the less funny they became. They niggled at me for the rest of the car journey and for days even after that.
I was frustrated because I had literally just achieved this house goal; yet I wasn’t even getting a chance to savour it properly before I was being pushed to achieve something else. I was also frustrated because I could feel myself being pushed towards something that I didn’t see as my next natural step.
Up till then, I had always towed the line that my parents set out for me. Medicine or not, the fact remains that I went to university and graduated. Everything that followed, that my dad had praised me for in the car, was also a part of the masterplan. This was the first time that I felt a deviation between my parent’s wishes and my own. This was the first time that I questioned their expectations of me and simultaneously felt the weight of potentially disappointing them, and robbing them of their dreams.
What made my resistance even more confusing is that I knew that my parents, and those of the same mindset, wanted the best for me. Marriage and motherhood are not bad things in and of themselves. It’s quite natural to want them for your child. Also, from what I was taught and could see from those around me, it was something that I was supposed to want too. Yet, as I’ve already stated, I didn’t.
Looking back, I see that this was a trauma response to seeing most of my female role models sell themselves short or stay in abusive situations due to factors such as tradition, control and low self-worth. Yet rejecting those societal norms helped me to realise that my measure of success is the freedom to live life on my terms.
In interviewing other black women about their measures of success, for my most recent Black Ballad article, it was interesting to see how these themes were echoed many times over. It’s also very interesting that, as I reflect on my journey from that part of my life up till now, I see how important having measures of success is, not just in life, but also for PR.
If you follow me on social media, you would have seen that I recently went to Germany for my friend's beautiful wedding.
In the few weeks leading up to her big day, my dear friend and soon-to-be bride, Kelly, asked if I could read a prayer at her ceremony. I was honoured, and of course, I said YES!
My first thought when she asked me was that all I needed to do was read a verse from The Bible. I was a little mistaken and would soon realise this, thanks to a message from the best man. Fast-forward to a couple of messages later, and worry starting to kick in (lol), I learned that it wasn't a reading of the word that Kelly needed from me. She wanted me to write a few lines that I would say in front of the congregation!
I won't lie; I was a little nervous because I was wondering what I could possibly say to the bride and groom. So, I took a few days to think about it, and these are the words that came to my heart and landed on my page:
If you’ve been in the online marketing space for a while, you may have heard the phrase “facts tell; stories sell”.
You may also have been encouraged by well meaning coaches to “share your story” to better connect with your ideal clients and, ultimately, sell your products or services.
The problem with this advice is that it can create more questions than answers
Like:
How much of my story should I tell?
Can I be authentic and relatable without oversharing?
Who even wants to hear my story, let alone publish it on their media platform, anyway?!
If you’ve been asking one (or more) of those questions, this post is for you! Here’s what you need to know:
