How to overcome fear of success with visibility
We often hear the phrase "shattering the glass ceiling" in terms of the invisible barrier that stops women achieving their goals and progressing towards top positions in both the work and business sector. But what about the internal glass ceilings that we impose on ourselves? The limiting beliefs systems rooted in culture that have been passed down to us from generation to generation and now threaten to hold us back if we do not unlearn them?
Well, I recently wrote an article for Black Ballad, called "Are These Toxic Cultural Beliefs Holding You Back In Your Life & Business?" that explores 5 common toxic cultural beliefs and how we can overcome them according to a cognitive behaviour therapist (Amanda Bakare) who I interviewed along with 4 other black business women to get a greater depth of perspective and expertise.
One of the toxic cultural beliefs that I mention in this article is the fear that friends will become enemies and, as Michelle Shaw (event planner and stylist) put it, “put their mouth on you,” if we share our ambitions and successes publicly. This is something that is definitely a factor as we start to manifest our PR goals and become more visible. If this is something that has been stopping you from putting yourself out there (more or at all), I want to share this excerpt from the article
3 PR goal-setting mistakes (and how to avoid them)
One of my favourite things to do during the Christmas period is binge watch Christmas movies like Elf, Home Alone, The Grinch (Jim Carey's version, of course), Love Actually and Mean Girls
If you frowned in confusion at the mention of Mean Girls, you clearly don't remember the iconic talent show scene
If you've never seen it before (or simply not as recently as me) it's basically a comedy about a girl called Cady who tries to sabotage the most popular girl in school, Regina George
Because needless to say Regina's really not very nice
One of the many plans that Cady hatches to take Regina down (with a little help from her friends) is giving her these "protein bars" that actually make people gain weight while telling Regina that it does the opposite. And, as you can see from the gif below, she succeeds
How to set PR goals
About 5 years ago me and my (then) best friend spent a week or so in France
Mainly in Paris
One day we decided to take a day trip to Calais that almost ended in disaster
We had spent a lovely day at an art exhibition and exploring the city a bit before we finally made our way back to the station
As soon as we arrived we looked at the board and could see our train; then, about 5 minutes later, we noticed that it started flashing
Not knowing what this meant and also concerned that none of the others were flashing...
We finally decided to ask one of the station employees what this meant
The issue was that, unlike in Paris, most of the people in Calais didn't speak English
The train guard spoke very little English; so called over 2 of his colleagues
Between our broken French, their broken English and a lot of pointing to our tickets and the board, we were finally able to get them to understand that we wanted to go back to Paris but the train that we wanted was flashing and we needed to know why?
"Aaah," the original guy answered, "c'est supprimer!"
Me and my friend looked at each then back at him in confusion
"Supprimer?" We asked in unison
"oui, c'est supprimer" he repeated again
Sensing that we didn't understand, he turned to his 2 companions to see if they knew the English equivalent to "supprimer". One of them thought for a second and then said "cancelled". "Cancelled?!" We echoed aghast. "Oui, cancelled". He asserted again
I about passed out with visions of us being stranded in Calais. We were counting on that train to connect us to another. If we missed that one, how would we get back to Paris? We didn't have enough money for a hotel in Calais...
My spiral of panic was then interrupted by the guards pointing to the board and then to the map to show us another route that we could take back to Paris
We remained nervous about getting kicked off the train for being on the wrong route throughout the journey but, lo and behold, their instructions came in very handy and we didn't have to sleep in the street in a strange city where we didn't know the language.
Knowing where you want to go but not knowing how to get there has to be one of the most frustrating things ever! This is something that I remember feeling at the beginning of my content marketing journey as well
You see...
Why goals are important for PR Success
On Christmas eve I got hit by a car
Luckily I was okay and the only sign that anything even happened is this scar on my elbow
But the fact that he made enough impact to make me roll onto the hood and then onto the floor makes me truly thankful that it wasn't any worse
Because, as one of the witnesses said afterwards, I "could have ended the night on a stretcher" and- if not for God's favour and protection- who's to say whether that would have been because of a broken bone or fatality?
See, what had happened prior to that was....
2 steps to shattering self-imposed glass ceilings
We've been doing a lot of talking about purpose recently
Including why purpose is important to your PR strategy and how to do purpose-driven PR.
The reason for this is because when I reflect on the nativity story, particularly from Mary's point of view, that's the overarching theme that jumps out to me about this season
Here's why:
In giving her the gift of Jesus, God took an average little girl and gave her the opportunity to present herself in a new light by lifting the lid of her potential; endowing her with His power and giving her purpose.
But, most of all, God gave her something special to share with the rest of the world- an expression of His love.
To me, this shows us as modern women that we are also pregnant with purpose- meaning that we have something to give and contribute to the world too
However, as a person who sits at the intersection of many identities, I know how hard this can be to believe at times (if not all the time)
You are literally presented with messages built from systems that contradict and try to convince you otherwise every single day but...
Guess what?
Your ability to speak up, step out and shine as the woman that God created you to be is tied to coming out of agreement with society and accepting your divine status as "blessed among women" (Luke 1:28)
Yes you!
Simply put, you can't be a thought leader if you don't actually believe that you have ideas worth sharing...
You can't make impact if you don't believe that you have the power to...
You won't use your voice if you don't believe that it's significant...
You can't be visible if you don't feel that who and what you represent matters...
Because it's impossible to shatter glass ceilings that you continue to uphold
Ready to break them down?
Here's what you must do instead
How to scale with PR
What's a movie that you've seen over and over again but never get bored of?
Honestly, I've got quite a few including anything Disney, anything Marvel, most musicals and Forest Gump (among others).
Forest Gump is one of those movies that has so many quotes and titbits that have now made it into mainstream culture; so it's clearly not just me who loves it
Be it real life Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurants, my favourite meme for saying hello or quotes such as "Run, Forest, run!" and "Life is like a box of chocolates," there's no denying it's impact
The issue with the idea of life being like a box of chocolates, though, is that the analogy is no longer true.
Once upon a time, you'd never know what kind of chocolate you were going to get until you took a bite out of it. These days, boxes of chocolate come with menus so you can literally pick and choose exactly what you want- which is nothing like life at all!
So, allow me to suggest another analogy that came to me a few years ago: "Life is like long multiplication". Not as sexy, I know, but hear me out…
How to do purpose-driven PR
2 weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending Tiwa King’s first in person event since the "panoramic". Even more special, though, is that this was actually the first time that we had met in person full stop.
This, despite the fact that we live in the same city and had spoken virtually and on the phone (for hours at a time) prior to this day.
Tiwa’s event (The Authenticity Checklist) was a full circle moment in a lot of ways because of:
#1 The nature of the event itself
I first encountered Tiwa at TEDx Peckham 2018. I use the word “encounter” because we didn’t meet. She sang “Glory” as I sat there transfixed by the power of her performance.
At the time, I had a vodcast in which I would interview inspiring Christian women in business. I made up my mind, right there and then that I would reach out to her. Then...
She ghosted me...
Or so I thought...