Last week we talked about the importance of giving before you get when it comes to leveraging our relationships through networking
This was something that Esther did with the King by throwing him 2 wine banquets before she so much as broached the subject of saving her people. Click here if you missed that, sis
Which is known as harnessing the law of reciprocity
Here’s the thing, though…
There is a thin line between harnessing the law of reciprocity and being manipulative
Which is yet another reason that networking gets the reputation of being icky and gross
Here are some key differences between the 2:
#1 Manipulation
Being manipulative is by definition “influencing or attempting to influence the behaviour or emotions of others for one’s own purposes”
In other words, manipulative people are self-serving which means that they:
Do things for others for the express purpose of making other people feel indebted to them
Hope to leverage this feeling of indebtedness for their own gain/progress even if it doesn’t benefit the other person involved or they lose somehow.
Typically stop giving/doing so much when they get what they want and probably won’t start giving/doing again until they need something else (so the relationship is dependent on their needs)
#2 Reciprocity
Reciprocity is a “mutual exchange”
In other words, people who practice reciprocity have collaborative relationships where they:
Do things for other people out of a genuine desire to love, serve and/or support them in their endeavours. In line with this, they-
Make sure that when they do pitch something, it’s a win-win for everybody involved
Are consistent in the way that they relate to others (by giving/doing, for example) because the relationship does not depend on their needs or wants
So, the next time you catch yourself feeling inauthentic in your networking endeavours, know that that’s cause for a heart-check
Because, as I always say, success with networking and PR is essentially just about being a good friend.
Press to hear how to harness the law of reciprocity the right way now!