It's Mother's Day in the UK today.
If you follow me on social media, you'll see that this has caused me to reflect on some of the ways that I am the person that I am today because of my mum.
One of the things that comes to mind as I sit down to write this, though, is a saying that she used to say a lot to me when I was younger:
"It's not me that you're doing, you're doing yourself"
A Nigerian Pidgin (or broken) English way of saying, "You think that in acting out you're hurting me but you're actually only hurting/harming yourself"
Not only does this saying give you a glimpse into the kind of child I was <clears throat> it sheds some light onto the many ways in which, although you might think you're protecting yourself by refusing to be visible, you're actually doing more harm that good.
For example:
#1 Refusing to be visible is a form of self-sabotage
The online space is very crowded.
So, if faced with a choice between someone who has appeared on credible platforms or had industry experts co-sign them by having them on their podcast, who do you think your ideal client is most likely to go with?
Or when faced with who best to collaborate with or have represent their brand, who do you think is most likely to get the opportunity?
Simply put, by not putting yourself out there, you’re holding yourself back- working against yourself and self-sabotaging.
#2 Refusing to be visible demonstrates scarcity mindset
If you've ever done work on money mindset, you’ve heard talk of the scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset.
When you work with an abundant mindset, you fundamentally believe that people want to hear what you’re saying.
But when you work from a scarcity mindset you shrink back and aren’t as generous with sharing your story, knowledge, and expertise.
Guess what else this leads to, though?
You inadvertently not serving the people that you are actually called to because you are pandering to people that you don't want to help anyway.
Not only does this rob you of the rewards of PR, it robs your ideal client of the rewards of working with you. Which brings me to my last point…
#3 Refusing to be visible turns you into a saboteur
When I was in primary (elementary) school, one of the things that we were taught was the power of the bystander i.e. the impact that a witness to bullying’s decision to stop it (or not) could make.
In doing this, it was always drummed into us that a person who allows others to be bullied is no better than the bully- making them a negative bystander.
The same is true in PR. Your ideal client has a circumstance that you can change and a problem that you can solve. In choosing not to make yourself known to them because of fear of judgement, you (the sabotaged) become the saboteur- holding others back by default of not showing up.
It doesn't have to stay this way though.
You can put an end to this vicious cycle by attending Media Magic- a retreat for business women, experts, coaches and authors who want to uncover a quick and systemised process to pitch the media so that they can get onto more top platforms, be seen as industry experts, and start raking in larger paydays.
Some highlights of what to expect over this weekend retreat include:
Uncovering what you need to know about PR so that you can get more visible, be seen as the expert, attract your dream clients and get paid what you want
Getting insider strategies on how to reach out to media gatekeepers — and actually get a response
Walking away with behind the-scenes insights on how to be visible without spinning your wheels on social media or fighting the algorithm
Having a rinse and repeat customisable system with plug-and-play templates, swipe copy, scripts and more so that you can continue to easily and quickly pitch the media once the retreat is done
Leaving with a bespoke PR plan for your business
Applications open soon!