When I was younger, one of my dad’s biggest lamentations about me was my hyperactivity
And he would always say, in a really exasperated way [insert Nigerian accent]: “Why can’t you just sit still?! Stay in one place!”. But I really just couldn’t do it
My curiosity, vivaciousness and impulsiveness just did not allow me to sit still- try as I might
Fast forward to now and the fact that I’ve been away so long and I'm just returning, is a clue that I now understand the value of taking a step back
And how it allows me to rest, regulate my nervous system, recoup and recalibrate for the next level
But it wasn’t always like this…
In fact, I would say that when my heavenly father also told me to be still earlier this year, it was just as hard
Whereas it was hard when I was younger because of all of the things that I mentioned, this time I think it was hard due to things like productivity anxiety
Which is something that I've spoken a lot about before and is part of the reason that I stopped and chilled kicking and screaming (despite being on the brink of burn-out) recently
This is because productivity anxiety or over functioning comes with a set of lies. Those lies sound like:
If you take a step back, people are going to think that you failed
If you take a step back, people are going to think that you've fallen off
No one's going to actually believe that you're doing anything behind the scenes, even though you are, unless they can actually see it
You know, the whole “If a tree falls in a forest and no one's there to hear or see it, did it really fall?” conundrum
We can fool ourselves into thinking that we are continuing to keep going for our supporters, the glory of God or to walk in purpose. But if those are the questions ringing in your head every time you slow down, your desire to keep showing up is actually rooted
If you are currently in a place where you can feel that you're on the brink of burnout or that you need to take a step back, recalibrate and just do you- I would fully encourage you to do it
Because, like we hear all the time:
You really cannot pour from an empty cup
Also…
Going back to speaking about fathers, Psalm 127:4 says “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth”
I believe I heard this analogy from TD Jakes years ago but:
In order to shoot an arrow, not only do you have to aim it, you have to pull it back before it can ultimately be propelled forward
And the further you're able to pull it back, the further it goes
Sometimes we can be afraid to rest/slow down because it actually feels like a step backwards or that we're not going to make progress if we don't continue to go, go, go but just know that
Especially when it's to do with your mental, physical and/or spiritual health especially
You are not going to lose ground. Inactivity is an activity in and of itself and God will cause you to spring forward with even more vigour when you’re in the space to return